If God Were Made in My Image

If God Were in My Image…

He would be convenient, comfortable and cozy – like the best blanket ever.

He would encourage me not to deny myself, because that might make me grumpy which would make me sin against others which would be bad. Right?

So. No denying.

If I did, however, in my grumpiness, do something to “harm” someone else, God would provide me with biblical evidence as to why it was clearly his or her fault.

Really, they made me do it. Caused me to stumble and such.

In the Great Cafeteria of Faith, he would nudge me in the ribs if I accidentally put any healthy asceticism on my plate. “Not that. It tastes terrible!” he would say.

If God were in my image, I could piously say that I am the chief of sinners, like that great Apostle. And God and I would smile at each other and share a knowing glance because I’m obviously I’m way holier than most people. I can even tell the eternal residence of most people. It’s a gift.

Especially friends, family members and politicians.

If God were in my image, he would be angry about the things that anger me. Because human emotions are real reliable.

He would be on my side in any political or theological debate. He would provide me with the ultimate comeback in both situations. Slam dunk, high five, call your mama, go and hide.

Yep.

If my image were the thing, then God would tell me that it’s ok that people are sick, suffering, starving and whatnot in the world. He would definitely encourage me to give some money, if I felt “led” but would advise me not to think about it too much because the discomfort could exacerbate my stomach issues.

I also wouldn’t have to care much about the planet he created because, well, I just don’t think he really cares that much about pollution, disappearing forests and irreplaceable species. My job is to consume.

Besides, if he wants the planet fixed, he can fix it. The Creator can recreate – damage undone.

If God were made in my image, I could freely judge and condemn:
Republicans
Democrats
Muslims
Fundamentalists
Tree Huggers
Rednecks
The French
Catholics
Prostitutes
All Non-US Territories
Vegetarians
The homeless
Charlie Sheen
Capitalists
Charleton Heston
Socialists
And OJ Simpson.

And I could go on, but you get the gist of my image of God.

If he’s like me, then everything is relative and depends on my current emotional state. Here’s how it would work:

If I want it, I buy it.

If I’m angry, other people get smited . (yes, Merrian Webster, I realize that the past tense of smite never made it into your little book. SMITE.)

If someone cuts me off, a cop is waiting to give a ticket. God and I agree on what constitutes justice.

If I’m simply unhappy, then I married the wrong person and God will now attempt to provide the right one. I, however, am always the right one.

If I’m insecure, I can focus my criticism on anyone who is “making” me feel bad about myself.

If I’m annoyed, then I can endlessly whine about how stupid all people are and he just listens and listens. He thinks they’re pretty stupid too.

I could freely gossip about how the lives of others have gone wrong – because I would have done better if I were in their shoes. Naturally.

If I’m sad, then I will ask him what in the world he’s thinking because he’s obviously falling down on the job.

But, of course, a “God” who is in my image, wouldn’t let me feel anything but happy, happy, happy. Because, duh, God loves me so only good things will ever happen.

Relationships will be easy, money will be plenty, everywhere I go, life will fit me like a glove. (see prior OJ reference)

Life would be perfect. Eden. I would view trials and difficulty as a sign of sin or a deficit in belief and judge the poor little dears who had to deal with such things. Bless their little hearts, as we say in the South.

I could live my life, making my faith all about me. Never seeing.

Missing the point.

So, what is the point?

To love.

To love.

To love.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:16

God, forgive me for the times I’ve tried to mold You into what I want.

To ponder – how have you made God in your image?

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